PPD vs. PPP

Akeeyu, over at Her Very Own, posted a very important story - please go over and read it.

For all of you who know and love a woman that is wanting to get pregnant and bring home baby - please go over and read it.

Her message isn't about IF, it is about her postpartum struggle and her walk through the 9th level of Hell. She has bared her soul so that women will know about PPP - Post Partum Psychosis and provided links that will help you know the difference between PPP and PPD (Post Partum Depression).

So, why am I all hot on the topic? It is because, while I didn't get as far down the rabbit hole as Akeeyu, I did experience a very bad case of post partum depression. Really, until today, I didn't know how bad it was...

"Why today?", you ask all full of wonder and awe that 1 1/2 years later I'm just figuring it out.

Because, darling, I was reminding hubby of the hard time I had right after Jim was born as a lead-in to telling him how brave and amazing I thought it was that Akeeyu told her story, and he bleated out, "Oh, no, did she hurt her children?".

If you know much about PPP, you would know that this clued me in that he knew a main differentiating symptom of PPP vs. PPD, which is thinking of hurting oneself or the baby. I quickly explained that no, all was well, and that she had asked for help and received it. He was visibly relieved.

Then he said he had been worried about me, and my reaction post-baby. That's why he had understood PPP without much explanation. He did research on what was affecting me!!! Thanks for telling me to seek help, hubby - NOT! Granted, we did discuss it, and I declined help, but MAN push me next time! Or make the Dr's appt for me! :)

As you can imagine, this lead to a long and important discussion about what we would do differently if we manage to bring home another baby.

We also discussed the GAPING hole in post-partum care for the mother. See, baby gets seen by their pediatrician within 2 days of being released from the hospital.

Mommy? When is your checkup? Who's watching to see if you are OK? Ummm...

Bueller? Bueller?

Yep, that's right Mommy - the OB is on call for you, and tou can reach out for help anytime, but your next scheduled appointment isn't for 6 WEEKS!!!

What?

You read it right, 6 WEEKS!

Doesn't that just seem a bit long to you? Yeah, me too...

Hubby and I discussed making stop-gap plans to set up a MANDATORY check-up at 2 to 3 wks post partum with my General Practioner. We will give him pre-baby-arrival instructions to question me about PPD and PPP symptoms, and he is to take evasive action with anti-depressants (or whatever is necessary) and send over a Nanny*.

See Akeeyu, you have already helped someone plan to ask for help ...before they even need it. :)

Thanks again! Really, from the bottom of my and my hubby's hearts.


* Yes, Akeeyu, I think it is a darned good idea! I might just plan to have one on call...

Jim Is In Hospital - He's OK Though....

My baby boy is in the hospital tonight. His dad is staying with him so I can get some rest.

I took Jim for a sleep study at the children's hospital Friday night (last night). We wanted to check out an odd breathing pattern he was exhibiting, and to check him for sleep apnea (runs in both of our families).

They determined he does have a relatively serious breathing issue. He cannot seem to maintain a high enough blood/oxygen level while he sleeps. For your RN types, he is dropping into the mid/low 80's during deep sleep. For you non-RN types - that isn't good.

So, during the sleep study he had to be put on oxygen - 25%.

They told me to take him home after the study, and that my pediatrician would call me with further instructions, if any. The tech wasn't sure if they would order further testing, etc.

Just for the sake of being obvious - Jim is 3 wks old... He sleeps all the time! So, I figured waiting around until someone got the report was not in his best interest. I, being the proactive and protective type, called the Dr ASAP after their office opened.

My pediatrician DID NOT get a call from the sleep lab. No one was aware there was any issue with his oxygen levels.

Dr. WonderfulPed said they should not have discharged him. She called the children's hospital and got more info, then called me back and said to be back at the hosp in an hour, they were admitting him. Dr. WonderfulPed then answered all my questions and put me at some ease about what might be the issue. We were to go in for testing and observation, then we'd see where we were.

We took him back to the hospital. Admitted him. We met with the hospital's lead pediatrician. The first thing she asked is if I liked my Dr. WonderfulPed. I told her I did, and that she was very "on top of things.", the hosp Ped agreed. I figure you've found the right Ped Dr. when the hospital's Pediatrician compliments her and is impressed with her after one case.

So, she ordered a chest X-ray. It came back normal. She then had him monitored while sleeping, and reviewed the sleep study with the hospital's Pulminologist. They concluded that Jim has an immature nervous system, and so he breathes too shallow to sustain his oxygen levels (this was the"weird breathing" we were noticing). Score one for observant parents, eh?

They've put him on oxygen, and are monitoring him. Assuming this fixes the issue they will prescribe 1 month at home on oxygen during sleep.

He's staying in the hospital tonight, with Dad, and is expected to be released tomorrow assuming all goes well.

The good news, they expect he will grow out of this within the month. BONUS - he doesn't have apnea. He may develop it later in life, but he's OK for now.

For all the horribly scary and life-threatening things that could have caused this issue we are thankful that the solution so far seems to be simple. Also, after seeing all the horribly sick children in the hospital - all around us, we are thankful that the solution so far seems to be simple.

We are counting ourselves lucky so far, but not taking that luck for granted.

19 Days Old

Well, baby Jim is 19 days old today! We've gotten into some semblance of a routine, not by the clock per se, but Bo and I are starting to understand little Jim's signals. We are finding that as our comprehension expands the crying diminishes. :)

Nana really likes to hear from us each day, which makes me very happy. She doesn't call, because she never knows when a nap will be in progress, so I try to call her. I think we are both missing the closeness we shared while she was here. I wish we lived closer. Today Nana is doing an Easter Lunch for my brother and his family. I sure wish I could join them.

Right now, Jim is starting to squirm because he's realized I laid him down for a nap. They learn fast that they prefer to be held, huh? He tends to go on to sleep as long as he knows you are there (i.e. you give him his pacifier for the 3rd time), but he will wake up if there is no response from you. He's a smart one - knows how to test for your presence already.

Bo is amazing with Jim. He is simply head over heals in love with him and really wants to do anything he can to make little Jim's world better. He sings to him, feeds, burps, changes and rocks him with no prompting from me. He even takes him when he doesn't have to, just because he wants more time with his boy. It is really, really great. I can't ask for more.

At almost 3 wks, Jim is awake for a few hrs of fussy time before bedtime (anytime btwn 8 and 1 am). Then he seems to be OK with sleeping in 4 to 5 hr blocks for the rest of the night and on into morning. So far we have to leave a small light on in his room or he won't sleep. It is still pretty dark, and the light has a pink colored glow, but I'm afraid that we've started him on not liking the dark. I've tried turning the light off, but he seems to get really upset if he wakes and there's no light. Not sure what I'm going to do to change that... May just have to force the issue, or move to a smaller/dimmer light source.

I just got a call from Bo, he's pretty loopy... He did baby duty last night, and Jim stayed up until about 2 AM. He may be rethinking whether he can do nights while working. We'll see how it goes this week, then we may need to make some adjustments. Hee hee.

Home at Last...

We brought little Jim home Saturday afternoon. There were snowflakes swirling in the air and our yard was in full early-spring bloom, with hyacinths and daffodils everywhere. My own Daddy was standing in the driveway, video camera in hand, to capture little Jim's coming home. It was a very touching sight.

We came in and immediately began filling up the house with baby paraphernalia. Who knew you needed so much stuff to take care of one little butt?!?!

Dad (aka Bo) put together Jim's swing and Grandaddy carried in all of the things from the hospital. See, I did need a Sherpa, and I got one! I couldn't believe how much stuff we left with - just crazy I tell you! And, we've needed every bit of it since we've left, too.

While we were in the hospital, my Mom had washed most of the baby clothes and blankets we'd received as gifts. So, part of the evening was spent trying to find all the needed things, then put these things into the drawers, closets and cupboards closest to where they'd be needed.

We spent the rest of the evening running around taking care of baby. For some reason it took 4 grown adults to keep one 4-day old baby comfortable. :) I say "running", but after this C-section I can pretty much guarantee that I'll not be running anytime soon, although I can move reasonably fast.

I will recount his delivery and stay in the hospital when I have a free moment, which seems to be few and far between these days!

First pictures of baby Jim below:

Hello Jim, welcome to the world!


Mommy and Baby meet for the first time.


Oh how much I love you...


The new man in my life