Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Has the light gone out? No, it's just Raised Higher

Today I lost a very, very dear friend. She was my "2nd Momma" when I was young. Then again, I think she was everyone's Momma that would let her take on the role, but she had a special gift for making you feel like she was there for YOU!  Every time I have gotten a promotion I've thought, boy would Rose be proud. When someone says I'm a good leader of "Brainstorming" sessions, I know that came directly from Rose. When I needed to choose a name for my daughter, I tried Rose with each name to see if it would fit as a middle name. My Grandmother's name won the spot in the end, but it took a coin-toss to settle it. THAT is how much this lady meant to me.

My Rose, my sweet wonderful Rose passed from this Earth on Mother's Day. I found out this morning before work. It was so hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. So hard to keep calm and carry on for my 2 babies that expect me to care for them and get them safely to daycare. I couldn't break down and lie in the floor. So I kept moving.  I dropped them off at daycare and I kept moving. I was so numb.

On the way to the office I started smiling and crying...  it hit me that yeah, I can be sure I do believe in Heaven. You know why? Because I know for certain that Rose is so happy right now. She's in heaven. She's with her youngest daughter Amy, and it has been SO LONG since they've seen each other. I can just hear Amy saying, "Momma, what kept you so long! I was waiting!".  I'll bet they had a glorious reunion - heaven just got better, if you can imagine that being possible.  :)

Let me tell you about Rose, so you will understand...

Rose loved me. She loved me with all her heart. She didn't love me because she had to, but because she wanted to. When she said "one of my girls" I knew that included me.

Rose was the leader of our Girl Scout Troop from the time I was in Brownies to when I finally gave up being a Scout in High School. She and her cohorts put us through every imaginable craft and life-skills activity you can imagine. If you could make it out of paper, popcicle sticks, yarn, glue, wax, soap, or mud - we made it! Our troop fluxuated from 26 to 10 or so... This woman lead whoever would follow through camping, horseback riding, crossing swinging bridges (this was a re-occuring trial of note), thunderstorms, camp fires, haunted houses, parades, community performances, and volunteering. Oh man, did we volunteer.

Habitat for Humanity gets my time, not because I'm so inherently giving, but because Rose taught me how wonderful it is to give. She taught me to jump in, to get involved, to be there for someone without them having to ASK!  

Rose, if you can hear me, I'M BUILDING HOUSES!!! For OTHERS!!! BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Rose was a force, let me tell you. How she managed to raise her two daughters, and take on whatever kid wanted to spend the night, plan all these events, and still have the energy to lead our troop of hoodlums... I'll never understand it. We weren't her only charges either - she had her church-home that she gave JUST as much energy to.

I have always admired Rose. I have 2 kids, and I can't imagine having anywhere near that ability to get it all done. She not only took on everything, but she also did with Syle. Her style.  She ruled the roost too! You'd see one of us girls get a little too crazy and she'd set us straight! She'd come in yellin' "Girl's! Now that's about enough, get laid down and go to sleep!".  Then again, I guess she was just as likely to let us go right on being silly. How, she could get 14 girls ready to leave the house with only 2 bathrooms, I don't know, but she did - I didn't say we'd make it ON TIME, but we'd make it just the same.

Oh boy... On Time. Ha!  There wasn't "On Time" there was "Rose Time". She'd always show up, just when you thought you'd misunderstood where you were supposed to meet for an event she was leading. She'd show up with everything ready to go, both her girls, and move the group out in a flash. I got to where I would just tell my Mom not to worry, we were on Rose time. Come to think of it, I think I might have adopted Rose Time as my own time zone. I'm always about 5 mins late, but I'm always manage to arrive just before the fun starts. :)

What else can I say. I have felt all day that my life is a little less bright because a light has gone out. Then I remembered my thoughts on Heaven, from this morning, and I realized that no, the light is just raised a little bit higher. She's still a beacon for me to follow, just as she's always been.

I'll miss you Rose. I hope you are proud of what you see tonight, as you look down over us all. Your motto was to "Leave it better than you found it", and I'll assure you, you did.