Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Has the light gone out? No, it's just Raised Higher

Today I lost a very, very dear friend. She was my "2nd Momma" when I was young. Then again, I think she was everyone's Momma that would let her take on the role, but she had a special gift for making you feel like she was there for YOU!  Every time I have gotten a promotion I've thought, boy would Rose be proud. When someone says I'm a good leader of "Brainstorming" sessions, I know that came directly from Rose. When I needed to choose a name for my daughter, I tried Rose with each name to see if it would fit as a middle name. My Grandmother's name won the spot in the end, but it took a coin-toss to settle it. THAT is how much this lady meant to me.

My Rose, my sweet wonderful Rose passed from this Earth on Mother's Day. I found out this morning before work. It was so hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. So hard to keep calm and carry on for my 2 babies that expect me to care for them and get them safely to daycare. I couldn't break down and lie in the floor. So I kept moving.  I dropped them off at daycare and I kept moving. I was so numb.

On the way to the office I started smiling and crying...  it hit me that yeah, I can be sure I do believe in Heaven. You know why? Because I know for certain that Rose is so happy right now. She's in heaven. She's with her youngest daughter Amy, and it has been SO LONG since they've seen each other. I can just hear Amy saying, "Momma, what kept you so long! I was waiting!".  I'll bet they had a glorious reunion - heaven just got better, if you can imagine that being possible.  :)

Let me tell you about Rose, so you will understand...

Rose loved me. She loved me with all her heart. She didn't love me because she had to, but because she wanted to. When she said "one of my girls" I knew that included me.

Rose was the leader of our Girl Scout Troop from the time I was in Brownies to when I finally gave up being a Scout in High School. She and her cohorts put us through every imaginable craft and life-skills activity you can imagine. If you could make it out of paper, popcicle sticks, yarn, glue, wax, soap, or mud - we made it! Our troop fluxuated from 26 to 10 or so... This woman lead whoever would follow through camping, horseback riding, crossing swinging bridges (this was a re-occuring trial of note), thunderstorms, camp fires, haunted houses, parades, community performances, and volunteering. Oh man, did we volunteer.

Habitat for Humanity gets my time, not because I'm so inherently giving, but because Rose taught me how wonderful it is to give. She taught me to jump in, to get involved, to be there for someone without them having to ASK!  

Rose, if you can hear me, I'M BUILDING HOUSES!!! For OTHERS!!! BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Rose was a force, let me tell you. How she managed to raise her two daughters, and take on whatever kid wanted to spend the night, plan all these events, and still have the energy to lead our troop of hoodlums... I'll never understand it. We weren't her only charges either - she had her church-home that she gave JUST as much energy to.

I have always admired Rose. I have 2 kids, and I can't imagine having anywhere near that ability to get it all done. She not only took on everything, but she also did with Syle. Her style.  She ruled the roost too! You'd see one of us girls get a little too crazy and she'd set us straight! She'd come in yellin' "Girl's! Now that's about enough, get laid down and go to sleep!".  Then again, I guess she was just as likely to let us go right on being silly. How, she could get 14 girls ready to leave the house with only 2 bathrooms, I don't know, but she did - I didn't say we'd make it ON TIME, but we'd make it just the same.

Oh boy... On Time. Ha!  There wasn't "On Time" there was "Rose Time". She'd always show up, just when you thought you'd misunderstood where you were supposed to meet for an event she was leading. She'd show up with everything ready to go, both her girls, and move the group out in a flash. I got to where I would just tell my Mom not to worry, we were on Rose time. Come to think of it, I think I might have adopted Rose Time as my own time zone. I'm always about 5 mins late, but I'm always manage to arrive just before the fun starts. :)

What else can I say. I have felt all day that my life is a little less bright because a light has gone out. Then I remembered my thoughts on Heaven, from this morning, and I realized that no, the light is just raised a little bit higher. She's still a beacon for me to follow, just as she's always been.

I'll miss you Rose. I hope you are proud of what you see tonight, as you look down over us all. Your motto was to "Leave it better than you found it", and I'll assure you, you did.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Career Paths

Last night I overheard a man drilling some go-get'er attitude into his young (around 10 - 11, I'd say) son. The son seemed somewhat interested, but also somewhat bored with the talk. The kid was a doughy sort, seemed kinda laid back. He'd just finished his Chik-fil-A sandwhich and was being chastised for eating a 2-mile-high ice cream cone, That is, chastised by the Father that BOUGHT it for him. This frustrated the crap 'outta me... Why buy the kid ice-cream if you are just going to give him a hard time about eating it? Anyway...

So, I sat and listened to the pep-talk while I cajoled Jim to eat his chicken and I tickled Miss M to keep her cheery.

The lesson I gathered from the father's extolling was that this boy, this son, should put down his ice-cream cone and put himself squarely on the road to "Giving it your ALL!". The subject was sports. The boy apparently needed to bring his "A" game up a bit to suit his father. The boy seemed less than interested by this point in the talk and sunk lower in the bench seat, still eating his ice cream.

The father then whispered conspiratorially, "You see this? This is the reason!". Without speaking, and with a gleam of riches in his eye, the father brandishes a baseball card, a Rookie card, and whispered, "BallPlayer Whatshisname STARTED at One Hundered THOUSAND Dollars a YEAR!", then he yells, "STARTED! Can you IMAGINE?!?!?!?". Then he waits, sure the son will come around, and he does.

The son sits up straighter, looks more closely at the card. The Father, realizing his fish is on the line, starts reeling in the story. He's guesstimating how much Player Whatshisname is making now, what he is worth, what he will make over a lifetime. The son steals glances at me, I think he's looking for confirmation, but I look away.

I can't help but think... That poor boy. Only 1 in several thousand ever make it to be a real ball player. Most just end up frustrated that they didn't make it. I'm sure there will be hurt feelings and lost dreams on the Father's part, too. Hopefully he won't take it out on the kid forever...one of those "you didn't make it happen" regrets.

It occurs to me too, that most kids with his cultural background don't focus on their studies, so they don't even graduate high school. His father is trying to set him on a very difficult path, and one that the kid is not currently physically ready for. It's going to be a looooong road for this kid.

I keep thinking about this kid.

Could I have blown the kid's mind if I told him what a Dentist or Lawyer makes, or even what I make for that matter. I could tell him that people with white-collar careers don't have to worry about being side-lined by blowing out a knee, tearing a rotator cuff, or some young stud coming along and stealing all his hard-won glory. Well, sometimes we do worry about that last one, but you come to terms with it pretty fast. :)

Then I realized.... I am sorta being like the Father. I'm thinking of the outliers. I've focused on the money piece. I haven't found out what this kid is actually interested in. I know nothing about his abilities. I know not everyone can be a Dr. or Lawyer, etc.

So, now I wonder, how do you help a kid find the right match. How will I help Jim when it's his turn to pick a path? I keep going back to the cliche, the "Well Rounded Child". Maybe that is the key after-all, more than a cliche - the more experiences you have, the more you can relate to and try on for a fit.

Then again, I think back on my childhood... I had LOTS of experiences. I was opened up to so many different ideas and career choices. So many that I couldn't choose. I fell into my current position because I knew I could do the job, not because I was in love.

I know now that what I really needed was someone to give me a list... A list of careers with what they do, what they typically make, and MOST IMPORTANTLY here are the high-level steps to get there. I didn't have anyone that could help me with this information. I was expected to just sort-of figure it out.

Before you suggest it.... The Guidance Counselors at my school focused on the troubled kids. They either didn't know how, or didn't care, to help me pick a path.

As a result, for several years I've thought of going back to school, so I can be what I want to be when I grow up. :) I still wish I knew what I want to be, and how to get there. Sigh.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Blogher? Maybe?

I'm thinking about going to BlogHer. Not because I'm such a great blogger anymore, not because I have any kind of traffic to speak of here, but because I know sooo many of these Bloggy ladies, and I'm very interested in meeting them.

I feel like I'm a moth, being drawn to it. My one regret? I wish I had spent more time keeping my readers intact. I kinda feels like the "I wish I'd lost weight before this big event", but in this case I wish I'd taken better care of my BLOG instead of my BODY. Well, I would have liked to be more svelt before going to the event, too. But, I think I'm going to go anyway, love handles and all.

I wonder, who of you will be going this year? I sent out a couple of emails to my blog-buddies, but haven't gotten much info back yet. Hopefully that just means that they had GREAT weekends! Ha!


Today we did something novel. We went to the park to a gathering of Miss M's daycare classmates/parents. We had a good time! It was an international lunch, for sure. The other ladies were all from various countries - China, India both North and South. They brought meat and veggie tikkas (patties), somosas (meat-filled pastries), and tofu sushi. I held up the Caucasian/Southerner end of the bargin, I brought fried chicken and HOMEMADE Strawberry Pies with REAL whipped cream. I didn't realize I was a stereotype, but there you go! We had a GREAT lunch. I truly enjoyed myself.

Jim got some playtime in at the park, he and I were alone in that endeavor, since all of the kids were <1. He wanted to go to another park after we left - I think he had a great time. :)

Oh... I do think I scared the other parents just a bit (most of them only have 1 child). I told them it would be 6 months or less before their kids would be ready for the playground equipment. I got back some HUGE stares of incredulousness. One guy actually said, "No, it'll be more like a year or 2". His kiddo was one of the oldest. Sigh. I sure hope he's wrong in his estimate... I'll just have to wait and see. :) They can consider themselves warned! HA!

Good times! Hopefully we'll do it again soon. :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Wonderful World...

Wow... My world is kinda wonderful, and pretty sucktastic at the same time. How's about them apples?

I have several things I've always wanted, more kid-related goodness than I could have imagined, a growing friendship base, and yet my insides are...well... screaming. I find I am, therefore, screaming at my husband and older kid a bit for being a pain in my buttocks. Then, I turn and see Miss M and I just melt. I'm instantly calmed by her innocence and sweetness.

I feel like a fraud when this happens. I feel like a bad Mommy. Apparently I'm just not good at holding in my emotions when I'm being irritated repeatedly. My husband is, I think, trying to work with me. At least he's less bothersome lately. My older kid? Not so much. He's taken on waaay more of the "mommy irritation" work than his fair share lately.

Really, I need Jim to stop baiting me everytime I turn around. He argues with me about his dinner every.freakin'. night. He claims to NOT LIKE his FAVORITE foods. OMG, makes me want to screeeeeam. Sometimes, I do. Like tonight.

I made dinner, took it out of the oven, carefully cooled it for my lovely son, and all the while he was claiming that he doesn't like this food. A WONDERFUL food he's had many times before and LOVES. I knew, as soon as it started, that we'd have another night of me repeating "No, you aren't done until you have had 'n' more bites.", and the all-time classic, "How do you KNOW you don't like it, you haven't even TRIED it?!?!?".

He KNOWS this dance bugs the shit outta me. He KNOWS he's just being a pain. He KNOWS that end the end he'll just end up eating it - at least 1 bite. So why in the hell, after 6 months of this, are we still having to sort out what he will agree to eat? I just want to run screaming from the house.

The worst thing is... He's a wonderful, amazing, sweet, and loving child. He's also a pain in the butt because he's really smart and knows just what he's doing when he pushes all the buttons at once. Sometimes, he even smiles an evil smile when he knows he's got me cornered.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through this point. I told my hubby... It wouldn't be sooooo terribly bad either, except that we have at least 3 more years of this with his sister to look forward to before she's even started pulling this mess. How am I going to make it that long? How will I stay sane?

I have to admit, I think some of my angst is that I'm more mentally tired these days. I changed teams at work recently, and the learning curve is pretty steep. I'm doing to same job, essentially, but I'm having to learn slightly different policies and procedures, as they apply on the new team. It's exhausting having to track down the process for each thing I do. I really need a break.

I want to take a trip overseas. I want to go either to Rome or Ireland. I want to go in late May, but it may already be too late to make that happen. I'm not really sure my passport is current... I need to put that on my checklist.

Hubby is talking about taking me to Chicago in June to celebrate my Birthday, which is this month. He chose June because there is a huge food fest going on, and he KNOWS how I lurve me some great food. Trust me, if Seattle wasn't on that nasty fault line, and right up against that tsunami-generating ocean, I'd be there in a NY minute. No Doubt about it.

Anyway. I'm just rambling. I haven't posted in a while due to my funk and my crazy so-called life.

I am loving on my sweet baby girl. She's 5 1/2 months old now. Ya, I know, where did the time go? Does the 2nd one grow faster or something? Sheesh.

She's doign all kinds of age-appropriate stuff, grabbing toys, chewing toys, babbling, and now she turns when you call her name! YAY! I'm not sure I talked about that here, but we were kinda worried something was very wrong. She was 4 mo old before she made any attempts at all to turn to investigate the sounds around her. It didn't matter what the noise was, or the loudness of the noise - no response. So, Whew! We are so glad that turned out to be nothing, apparently. She seems to have learned her name even! YAY! Oh, and she has juuuust started rolling over. Tonight, I think she figured out she could roll to where she wants to go. Seriously. she looked at a toy of Jim's, flipped and flopped a couple of times and ALMOST got it. She's apparently directionally challenged, but I don't expect it will last long.

I'm sorry I haven't posted lately, hope any of you that are still reading will choose to forgive me. My funk and all the work craziness has kinda made me hide from the world a bit. I've been reading up on you guys though. AND I'm on Twitter - I don't follow during the day usually, but I'm on at night.

Night all.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Free Address Labels!

Shutterfly, a company I love, is giving away some of their ultra-cool address lables.
Enter promo code at checkout: HTRB-3PNE-P3WB-YY0XJ7
Offer ends Feb 23

Thursday, February 10, 2011

General Thoughts - Thursday Thinking?

Seems like everyday has some kind of "theme" around the blogosphere... How do you feel about "Thursday Thinking", hmmm?

I'm thinking about one of the comments re: Financial Peace and investment debt. Dave's plan definitely supports investment debt. He does recommend you pay down debt as soon as you can, to put the interest savings in your own pocket. HOWEVER, he also is very aware that you have to borrow to invest in large ticket items. So, he's pro-investment, he counts houses in that category. Then again, I've not heard him in recent years, not sure how he feels about houses with the current downturn in real estate. I wouldn't be surprised if he's in a "buy" mood personally - just think about all that CHEAP business real estate out there, and he's a very wealthy man these days.

Thinking about our kids...
- There is a really, really wonderful lady and her husband that are "kin" to my family by marriage. They are so sweet to our kids and they remember them with gifts at birthdays and major holidays. My kiddos unfortunately only have 1 set of grandparents living - hubby's Dad recently passed on, and I never met my MIL - she passed several years ago. So, I've been thinking about broaching the topic of "adopted" grandparents. Does that sound odd? I just so wish that my kids had another set of older-generation people to love on them. I don't think I would consider it, but these folks have no grandkids of their own, and I'm guessing they never will at this point. It's sad - they'd make the greatest grandparents, and my kids need grandparents. Seems like a match to me...

- Miss M. is starting to want to sit up while being held. It's really cool! She's all about trying to hold herself upright. :) She's still not much into playing with toys and such, but she will bat at hanging rattles if you'll hold them for her.

- Jim is a trip as always. He's always coming up with the neatest things to say.

We were in a parking lot and Jim pointed out that there were lots of "big buildings and stores" - it was a strip mall.
Me: What kinds of stores are there?
Jim: Food Store
Me: What do you get at a Food Store?
Jim: Groceries!

Me: What other kinds of stores are there?
Jim: French Fry Store
Me: What do you get at a Food Store?
Jim: Hamburgers and Chicken Nuggets!

Me: What other kinds of stores are there?
Jim: Happens Store
Me: A Happens store? What do you get at a Happens store?
Jim: Happens

Me: Really? OK, when would you go to a Happens store?
Jim: When you've had an accident. You go get Happens.

Me: You get Happens, when you have an accident?
OHHHHH! Accidents Happen!!! You are sooo wonderfully Wonderful Jim!

- Ms M has been getting a bit of a flat spot on one side of her head. I'm quite familiar with Torticollis, since Jim went through some issues with it. His head is actually not very round. So I've been working on keeping Ms. M's head round by being diligent with moving her position/head/propping her/etc since she was born.

Week before last I picked her up from her cradle and found that her head was very suddenly quite mis-shapen. I freaked out a little. Ok, a lot. It was like having 3 months of effort yanked out from under me.

I stormed into the room with hubby and told him we needed to talk. I was soooo mad, and needed to address it with the daycare - they were obviously leaving her to sleep in one position ALL the time. I had told them to watch her and it wasn't happening, obviously.

I won't get into all the details... sufficed to say, the daycare now has an action plan for how to take care of Ms M. They now know more about Torticollis. As I understand it the Director shared some pics around to show what happens if babies aren't managed for this condition.

Do know, this condition isn't one that you are taught to watch for, and I know plenty of people (including me) had their kiddos get pretty flat-headed before realizing there was a real issue. However, I was shocked that our daycare hasn't ever dealt with it. Too weird. Then again, maybe that just means they don't let their babies lay around untended too much. We'll see.

For All My Geeky Girlfriends!

This is our form of "being Martha". Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I've Been Very Weird Lately

I JUST remembered something WONDERFUL happened this week, and I didn't blog about it...

Thrifty Decor Chick reminded me with her post... Gah! I can't believe I didn't tell you guys!!

Have you heard of Dave Ramsey ? If you haven't, you might want to. He says people who don’t have debt are WEIRD. That’s what he says. “Debt is normal…be weird.”

So, you can say I'm being somewhat weird... And I'm so glad of it!


YES, I really did. I hit SEND and that sucker was GONE! BLAMO!!!!!!

I read Financial Peace years ago. My cousin followed it with her family - Success! My brother follows it with his family - Succcess!! So I started following it gently about 4 years ago - I had about $5ok in debt that I can remember (not including the house). I'm not proud of that fact, I'm really not. Then again, my salary was pretty great so I wasn't toooo worried.

Idiot me - young idiot me, right? That kind of thinking is what I was up against. Ugh.

Well... I talked through the Financial Peace ground rules with hubby and we started doing it. Snicker. Snicker.

No really... Be serious...

Within the 1st 2 years of the plan we knocked out ALL of our car loans, and all but 1 credit card each. When we had Jim we had a harder time paying things of quickly, but all of our work bringing down our debts allowed us to pay for the non-covered portion of an IVF, all the hospital bills, and a GREAT daycare and still have $ coming into our savings each month.

In 2009 (the year after Jim was born) I managed to pay 1/2 down on a brand-new car.. Yes, in cash. You can still do that, you know, pay cash. :) I have a 2 yr old car and I owe only $5,000 on it now. Really.

FTR - I had to have a car after Jim was born due to safety and medical reasons. I searched and shopped and waited and searched until I found JUST the right deal on a new car. That new car was only $1 - 2 K more than the next 2 yr models that were selling used, so it made sense to buy new, but Dave (the FP guy) would have said to buy used. We disagree, it's OK, I still love him.

Oh, and in 2010, when there was no insurance for our IVF, and they told me to pay up front. I wrote them a big fat check, paid in full. Done. Yep. No bills from that either.

OK, so now I have a student loan to focus on, a car to finish paying off (I pay way more than the min each month), and I'm done. Done with debt, other than the house. If all goes well, that is. Oh, and you naysayers out there are thinking "It doesn't always go well, you could loose a job, yada yada...). YEP! That's why the Financial Peace plan starts with building your emergency fund. So you have cash money in the bank, just in case. No, it won't keep me afloat for long. I realize that, but it just might be enough to get me to the other shore of a menacing jobless sea of sorrow.

I AM SO EXCITED - and PROUD of myself. I really am.

pat. pat. pat. I might need PT after this, but I'm glad to be patting my own back for once!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Twitter Anyone?!?!

I am trying to catch up to you guys on twitter, but everyone I know has their tweets protected... So, how do I let you guys know I'm on?

I'm lost. For a REAL geek this is humiliating. (hangs head in shame)

Will someone let me into the club? I promise I'll play nice! :)

I'm @Nearlydawn as if it wasn't something you'd guess...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

What's The Deal?

I have a few things I'd like to understand better...

Why is it that I can't seem to stop reading blogs about babyloss? Why must I know the details of these poor people's stories? Why?

I just don't get what is in me that makes me go of on tangets that I KNOW are about babies lost during pregnancy or just after. I don't know what it is. Is it a fear that I'll loose Miss M? Is it some sort of odd tourture? Is it a "What if?" issue for me that never was resolved when I lost my daughter at 15wks gestation last year?

Sometimes I think it is because I am still so scared that I will loose Jim or more likely Miss M. That fear never seems to leave me, and I think it is more present now that I've experienced a mid-term loss.

Right now, Miss M is sleeping peacefully in her rocker, right beside me, and I am crying uncontrollably over someone's loss. I am living their pain. Why?

I think my time online reading blogs is growing shorter as a result of these painful forays. I know that about 1/2 the time I get online I'm going to find that a friend or one of their friends needs my support due to a loss... I wonder if I'm starting to wear out emotionally. Maybe not so much "wear out", but maybe the borders are getting blurred between my life and all those out there hurting. I think I'm internalizing their pain and their stories.

Does anyone else do this? Do you have thoughts about it?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My Kid Has Had One Long Day...

Since 12 AM my little Jim has had a quintessentially bad day:
- 12 AM:  Woken up whimpering and come to sleep in my bed
- 1 AM - 3 AM: Thrashed around until my warnings reached that cold and calculated "I'll put you outside in the cold if you don't stop wiggling!". (not really, but damn it feels about right at 2 AM)
- 3 AM: Bonked me on the head until I woke up and yelled at him.
- 4 AM: Woke up very thirsty and cried piteously until I got him water*
- 5 AM: Woke up crying because his knee still hurt** - and I couldn't find the syringe to give him Motrin.
- Finally got some Motrin at 5:30 when I gave up and low-ball estimated the amount to give using another syringe. He probably got 1/2 a dose, but it worked apparently.
and to top it all off!  Drum roll please!!!
- 8:30 AM - WHOMP! He fell out of my bed.
Really. I almost had a hard time feeling sorry for him. Really.
Then.... Then I thought about all the times I made my Mom's life hard when I was having bad-day issues. I need to call my Mom and say "Thanks for hugging me AND not putting me out in the yard."  
In his defense:
* It was really, really dry in the house last night, I GRUDGINGLY got me some water too.
** He had said his knee hurt when he came to bed at 12 AM, but his explanation was sketchy, so I kinda dismissed it as a dreaming-while-awake issue. He said he "I hurt it on Sissy's frog", and the only frog I could think of in the house was her humidifier. Turns out he fell getting out of the car yesterday, in the garage - he banged his knee. What did he trip over? A stuffed frog that lives in Daddy's car. Duh! I didn't know this until my husband tried to "help" with that explanation. GRRRRR! Couldn't he have told me when it happend so I could have administered a pain reliever?


Thursday, January 20, 2011

G - Our Letter for the Day

Jim and I were in the car for an after-dinner trip to Target.  I was cruising down the small, slightly winding road that leads from our house to civilization. I suddenly saw an animal on the curb and made that intake-gasp-of-air sound, applied a tiny bit of brake, and moved over just a bit so I wouldn't have an unfortunate "bump, bump" to explain to my dear kiddo. Not to mention the fact that I'd cry. I'm a wuss when it comes to killing animals. Really*.
So, Jim, being the very clever kid that he is, noticed the whole thing, but didn't see the animal.
Jim:  "Mommy you almost hit that person!" (by which he meant the car in the oncoming lane that we passed)
Me: "No Honey, I didn't almost hit that car. Um... (stalling) There was an animal walking into the road, and I didn't want to hit him." (didn't really want to get into the whole explanation of squishing an animal and all that).
Jim: "You almost hit that Giraffe?"
You can imagine my surprise that there was apparently a giraffe, on our neighborhood road, that I didn't see, and almost hit.
Me:  (ROFL) "No Honey, I didn't almost hit a giraffe, did you see a giraffe?"
Jim: "Uh-huh"
Me: Laughing some more...  "Honey, I don't think so, I think it was an opossum."
When I was pretty sure we'd finished most of the almost hit, almost squished, are you sure it wasn't a giraffe conversation, I called my Mom and relayed the funny stuff.
Gotta love kids!
* Actually, I'm pretty sure I could kill one if I was hungry enough, but let's hope I NEVER get that hungry. Really, that would suck on so many different levels.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Snow Days & Long Nights

I have had an odd last few of days - the snow on Sunday night didn't reach our friends' house until a couple of hours after it had blanketed our house. So at 10 PM Sunday night my hubby, son, daughter, and I found ourselves traveling in blizzard-like conditions, trying to get home.

We completed a harrowing 12 mile trip in just over an hour. I had my  son in my car, hubby had Miss M. The snow was so bad we periodically lost sight of each other, but were never apart more than 50 feet.

For a fun twist, my cell phone was in Hubby's car, but neither of us knew it until it was too dangerous to fix the issue. Bonus level of stress for both of us!

Double-bonus for me? Jim wasn't sleepy, so was witness to the scary slipping, sliding, white-out fun. He really didn't seem to realize the danger until we slid off the road and jumped a median. I'm not sure what tipped him off, the sliding sideways, the fast-beeping traction control alarm, or the huge BANG-BLAM When we hit the median. Afterwards though, he kept saying, "I don't like bumpy ice Mommy". Don't blame you kid!

Monday was tough too, I  left my laptop at work and there was no way to retrieve it. Not a chance. I tried several solutions using my own laptop, no dice. I eventually had to give in and have a crappy day, complete with bad mood that I'd have to waste a PTO day. Ugh!

Tuesday, I resigned myself to just take a day off,  since I had no choice. Here was my chance...  I setup a little-kids-sledding date with the neighbors, fed kiddo a big breakfast, and proceeded to have a  wonderfully day of fun - I felt like I was 10 again.

My girlfriend, our kids, and I sledded exeedingly fast down the street, ate chili, sledded some more, ate cold ham w/bread and butter, drank too much wine (primarily the adults), laughed our asses off, and generally made fools of ourselves. It was amazingly fun!

Today. Today I did the dumbest thing ever in my life x2. I put my kids in the car and took them to daycare while I went to get my laptop, so I could work from home the rest of this week. I'm a ducking idiot.

I knew it was a huge mistake the minute I saw the road just outside out neighborhood.

OK! Let's face it, I actually knew it when I saw the solid sheet of ice that was my street.

OK, OK!  I really knew it when my Hubby mentioned causally that it would only get up to 28 degrees today. I thought then that I should just stay home. Idiot!

No, I braved the ice, the cold, and endangered my kids to get my machine so I wouldn't have to take  a 3rd PTO day. Yep. Ducking idiot.

We made it, the car made it, but I'm not sure my son will EVER like "bumpy ice" again. He's a smart boy, learns fast.

Faster than me, for sure.

Hope all of you are inside, warm, safe, and sound tonight - I'm so blessed that we are.