Wednesday, March 31, 2010

3rd HCG -- 6962!

I'm excited to say that I didn't feel the need to bury the lead - 6962 is right on track! 
It is still a mystery if there are 1 or 2 babies - the Betabase isn't revealing anything - I'm 25DPO...
Single Pregnancy
24 3354
25 4180
26 5509
Twin Pregnancy
24 6959
25 8938
26 11951
I'm not going to worry about it until the US, which is scheduled for 4/12. 
I'm kinda holding my breath, and I'm not convinced that this is "real" yet. I'm not stressed, probably because I'm too busy with my boy. :)
Sigh... waiting... So much fun!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

18dpo - HCG #2

I'm tickled pink about the beta # today - 632 is GREAT - right on target for doubling. YAY!  Go Bump!

Thinking it is 1 now, and that is fine by me!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Monday, March 22, 2010

BFP! HCG #1 - 11dp5dt - 17days past O

HCG # 1 = 294
I looked at the beta-base... and I graphed my numbers... Looks like I'm high for a singleton, but not completely out of the running for twins. I looked at the data for twins and about 11% of people on 16dpo are in line with  my #'s. However, I'm right smack in the middle - 50% for a singleton.

15d  136
16d  201
17d  293
18d  406
15d  268
16d  404
17d  589
18d  803
I'm thinking 1, but I think I'm going to follow the advice I gave the nurses earlier - I'll not start counting chickens. :)  The HCG calculator site made it more official-sounding: One single hCG value does not tell you much about the viability of the pregnancy and there is a wide range of normal hCG levels in pregnancy.
Yep... Don't I know it.

---- Protect the time and space to carry out your dreams -----


Well, the nurses seemed all smiles this morning when I told them about my pre-testing and the dates. They told me I was gonna need a bigger car. To which I admonished about counting chickens.

My fav nurse said "Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!" re: my pre-testing.

We were all smiles and laughs - it was a good visit. We all agreed it would be OK for it to be twins if that is to be.

I'm hoping to get a call in the next hour or so... I'll let you guys know who the winner is ASAP!

Well I'll tell you after Daddy that is! ;)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Saturday, March 20, 2010

9pt5dt - Still in the Pink!

I tested in the middle of the day today - the test came back positive almost immediately, so I guess the emby(ies) is/are getting stronger.

I talked with my best girlfriend who just had twins - she's over the moon excited for me. She's said she'll hope for just 1 for us, but she didn't say she "feels" like there is just 1. She and I tend to be pretty connected, and she makes lots of predictions... I'm guessing she isn't telling me how she really feels. :)

Jim is having a great time visiting with his Nana and PatPat this week - Nana is his own personal playtoy. He's just a ball of energy and smiles when she's around. On the flip side, he's anti-Mommy - I'm not allowed to do anything for him. He tells me to "Go Away! Mommy!". My Mom is not best pleased with his manners, and she is trying to make him work with me, but he's pretty darned stubborn and quick to cry. We all figure he'll be OK with Mommy again once he's not got Nana. I'm OK with that. :)

I haven't told my parents that I'm PG yet... I feel bad about it, and I'm thinking about it, but I want to know more about our chances at a take-home baby.

I was told pretty clearly after our loss that my parents didn't want us to try again. I think they are worried that I'll end up getting hurt badly, possibly die. I think there is also an undercurrent of thinking I wouldn't handle a 2nd kid well. Frankly, I'm not sure that part isn't partly true. I have a lot on my hands with just Jim. I'm not sure how we'd do it all if we ended up with 2, but I'm sure we'd figure it out, just like everyone else does. :)

WELL - I have my official test on Monday. Stacie made a guess on the beta # - anyone else wanna take a guess? Maybe I'll come up with some sort of prize for the closest? Stacie, you can re-guess if you want - narrow down your previous answer.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

7dp5dt - On the Road Again....

I got 2 pink lines today, pretty as you please. Wow. Just Wow. I now know I wasn't imagining things when I felt nauseus yesterday!!!

Looks like we are on the road to another baby (or two)! I'm a little worried that we'll crash and burn again - as you all know, wrecking so many times makes you a little scared of getting back behind the wheel.

I'm still a bit green, I'm HUNGRY, and my boobs are starting to get sore. I'm kinda in denial at the moment, but happy.

There are a LOT of miles between here and a take-home baby, but I did tell hubby not to make any plans for an out-of-town Thanksgiving. :)


Hugs to you all for being there for me - it has meant the world to me. I know it is hard to be supportive when you are waiting your turn. I hope like crazy you will all be able to get your turn very soon.

---- Protect the time and space to carry out your dreams -----

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

6dp5dt Luck O' the Irish

I seem to be safe from Pinches this St. Patrick's Day - 'cause I'm looking pretty green.

...and I'm starving!

Jim is helping me blog - he's pushing the letters on my blackberry. Fun huh?


That was Jim's 1st solo blog!

I'm so proud, but I do wonder who this Jill is that he's pla,ning to see later!

Have a good one ya'll!!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Monday, March 15, 2010

No Insurance? Really?

I just got a bit of a sucker-punch in the face... my insurance isn't going to cover the cycle we just completed. Seriously.

We verified coverage - 70% COVERED!
Our Dr. office verified coverage - 70% COVERED!.

We were not told about our "lifetime benefit" having been used with this insurance plan until we tried to order meds a few weeks ago. I thought maybe that was just for meds, but it turns out that the "lifetime benefit" isn't insurance plan-based, it is company-based, and it extends across pharmacy AND medicall care.

So, when we verified the coverage why weren't we told about the $10,000 max? The current insurance carrier didn't have the amount "loaded" into their system, so they were showing we'd spent $0 of our lifetime benefit.

So, it looks like we are going to be paying out-of-pocket for the WHOLE cycle! Seriously.

Can you say $21,000 insurance mistake?

I'm really, really, really, really not happy.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

To Test or Not to Test?

OK you guys - who tests at home, and on what day of the 2WW?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Thursday, March 11, 2010

On the Table... Take 2!

I was on the table, ready, and "full" for those that know what I mean... The US nurse was great, and was talking and keeping us company. Several times she mentioned the Dr. being " any second", but she was looking more nervous as I waited longer and grew more uncomfortable.

We shared some conversation about both good and bad experiences with bladders, Dr.s, and ultrasounds.... As I grew more pained she started calling people and going on walkabout to physically look for the Dr.

After 15 mins of waiting I was seriously feeling green and considered blowing my breakfast. The US nurse came back and said the RE had an emergency OB visit with someone who was "bleeding out", possibly from an ectopic. Since I had no ETA I had her get me down outta the air and let me go pee.

Man - relief is spelled with a capial P.

I hopped back on the table and we found that my bladder was still quite full (TMI, I know) and she could see our objective quite clearly. Then we discussed a "penalty box" for the RE, wherein he'd have to drink 40oz of fluid, lie down in that freezing room for 20 mins with nothing but a sheet. The nurse favored having 3 strangers stare at him while all this occured. :) She mumbled something about insertion of a speculum... I heart my nurse!

The Dr. flew in a few mins later and I was amazed that he was all smiles and handshakes. I don't know HOW he could come from such a sad and potentially life-ending procedure and not have some residul pain on his face.

We exchanged pleasantries - showed photos around of our little boy and we got down to business...

The embryologist - in my opinion the ONLY person I really needed to see - cam in and gave us our report!

Day 5 stats:
5 grade A+ embryos!!!!
3 that haven't made it to Blast, but are STILL growing!

We put back 2, will freeze 3 today, and the others will grow tomorrow and freeze if they are far enough along. How amazing is that? We had a 20% return rate when we had Jim's transfer. I can't imagine what was so much better this time, but I'm happy with the outcome.

I'm nervous now... those embies were 1st-rate per the embryologist, and the idea of twins is a little much for me. Then again, I'm officially PG as of today... That's how hubby and I see it. We just need these little embies hang on tight and we are in the running for more children.

----- Protect the time and space to carry out your dreams -----

On the table...

I'm in the position...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Like The New Blog Look?

I'm interested... Do you guys like the new look?

I'm trying to make my blog better reflect my personality...

I found the great new template and "how to" here:

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

8 is STILL GREAT! Right?

We still have 8 growing! Wow... Really, just wow... I wanna cry.

Who here thinks I should be the next Octomom? Raise your hands where I can see them! Oh... I see. Well, moving on!

6 are growing 8-cell grade A! Woo Hooo! My overacheivers.... I'm so proud!
2 Are growing well, but are a bit behind - grade B or lower.

We are moving this party this party to Thursday - we'll be transferring blasts, assuming all goes well and no one drops a petrie dish!

Stay tuned! 8 is great will be right back after this important message from our sponsors...

Monday, March 8, 2010

Thoughts from the RE

I talked with my RE today about the 3-day vs. 5-day transfer.
RE explained that the reason for going to 5 day was to have a declaration of the "best" embryos, but that it does seem to somewhat stress the embies.
So, we worked together to break it down a bit, so I could be in the loop on the decision. He said if we had embies tomorrow here would be the basic decision scenario:
90% A-grade & 10% B-grade or lower --> Five-day transfer of the best 2
50% A-grade & 50% B-grade or lower --> Three-day transfer of 2 A-grade
Just noticed I didn't ask him what if they were all grade B or lower... hmmm...
The trick is to have a clear separation of which embies are "best" - if it isn't clear they would push to day 5.
He said the success rates are not way,way better on day 3 or day 5, but the "winner" is clearer - I'm thinking maybe they would transfer more embies on day 3 than day 5 typically, but not on me, since I've gotten PG 2 out of 2 IVF cycles. RE has said I'm limited to 2 - no more. :)

** edited this a bit because the last part was even hard for me to read with so many grammar mistakes and missing. :)

8 is Great, right?

As of Sunday we had:

16 eggs were retrieved
14 were mature
8 fertilized (which is better than 50%, so the RE is happy)

Today I was told that they won't count them again until tomorrow. We have a tentative transfer time of 2 PM Tuesday, but they are expecting to push us to a 5-day transfer on Thursday.

I'm not exactly sure WHY we would be pushed to 5-day, because I've not been able to get a full answer, but it seems that the embry.ologists know best and will set me up for the date that makes the best chances for us.

Some thoughts on our retrieval:
It sucked. Last time was a breeze, but this time was painful (still is today). It feels more like I had abdominal surgery than just an ER.
Add to that, my IV took 4 tries, so both of my hands were numb& tingly until Sunday afternoon.
I don't want to have to do this part again, so I sure hope we get THE ONE with this cycle.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Thanks to Stacie for this idea. I am a sucker for a fun meme. :-)

Hey you! Yes, you and you and you and, especially you! Any of you reading this. You're tagged. After you've gotten to learn more about me than you ever wanted to know, take a turn and play the game. It's fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by "ology."


What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch (or as I usually order it "wreeench")
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Thai Spice --- mmmmmm Thai!
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Chocolate
What are your pizza toppings of choice? peperoni, mushroom, ham
How many televisions are in your house? one - yes really, only 1
What color cell phone do you have? blackberry - ha!


Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? well, I've had stuff lifted out and then put back in for the c-section! Does that count? Oh, and I am missing a tube from an ectopic pregnancy
What is the last heavy item you lifted? two 30+ toddlers at the same time. Stacie and I have this in common, bu not for the same reason!
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yes, once when I was rollerskating and I landed on my head while skating backwards.
Have you ever fainted? yes
Do you know what is causing your IF? Yes and no - we think it is a cocktail of PCOS, Thrombo.phelia, male-factor morphology, and old-fashioned bad tubes... nice mix, eh?


If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? no, well, yes, but no, well yes, um no.... it might be a good thing, but you wouldn't know how you'd react until after you'd found out. Yikes. So, no thanks?  I think. hmmmm
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Oh... I chose Cecile during French class - I still like it. Also, my Mom said the 2nd-runner-up name for me was Michelle Dawn - I kinda like that.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 2 - but I never wear them because I don't like the thingy between my toes - ouch!
Last person you talked to? Jim


Season? Fall or Spring - it is a toss up
Holiday? Christmas.
Day of the week? Friday
Month? October or December... it's a toss up
Color? Red
Drink? Coke - diet please
Alcoholic? Mike's Hard Lemonade


Missing someone? Yes ;(
What are you listening to? The television and Jim playing
What are you watching? Thomas the Train - Calling All Engines
Worrying about? the outcome of our IVF - did the Egg Retrieval today
What's the last movie you saw? no idea.... it was that memorable - last movie at the theater was Avatar
Do you smile often? Yes
If you could change your eye color what would it be? brilliant green
What's on your wish list for your birthday? a baby
Can you do a chin-up? Not unless someone is pushing me up! Ha!
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? I think it's both.
Have you been in a car wreck? Yes.
Have you caused a car wreck? Yes. I once backed into someone - it didn't cause damage though.
Do you have an accent? Yes - quite Southern I'm told, but I can't hear it myself :)
Last time you cried? yesterday - I was reading blogs of IF friends
Plans tonight? going to Cracker Barrel for dinner, hubby has a craving :)
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? more times than I'd like to admit to
Name three things you bought yesterday? Dinner, Elmo plates, Elmo Napkins
Have you met someone who has changed your life? Yes, quite a few, actually - many of them are bloggers
For the better or worse? Mostly better. :-)
How did you bring in the New Year? At a friends' home - kids, wine, and a plastic Dick Clark, good times!!
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I'm not sure. Would I still get to have my son?
What songs do you sing in the shower? I think it depends on my mood, and if anyone is home :)
Have you held hands with someone today? yes, I held hubby and Jim's hands
Who was the last person you took a picture of? Jim and hubby outside riding the new tricycle
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Both
Do you like pulpy orange juice? Nope.
Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Last week
What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Thinking about not eating/drinking in prep for IVF ER today
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? not eating/drinking in prep for IVF ER today - do you sense a trend?

Sweet 16

I made it through the egg retrieval and am home safe and mostly sound!

I was told they captured 16 eggs! Who knows how many are ripe, or will fertilize for that matter, but I'm really happy with those numbers.

Per our discharge paperwork we should get a call by 1 PM tomorrow to let us know the Fertilization report. As I understand it they will be doing full ICSI this time - hopefully reducing the egg attrition rate.

I'm very sore this time... it feels like I've had abdominal surgery vs. the mild cramping I had last time. I'm hanging out on the couch and taking it easy. Hubby is outside playing with the boy - he got a tricycle for his Birthday. He got a sandbox too, but we are planning to wait to use it when Mommy can play too.

Thanks for all the well wishes!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Birthday, Countdown and Irony

Please look over to your right... --->
Over there on the sidebar...
Do you see some major irony? No? Well... Let me explain.

I never took down the ticker I created for my little girl.

The ticker's current message is ironic, don't you think?

"Our appologies.
Due to a hardware failure this ticker has been lost.
It will need to be replaced with another ticker."

I'm working on it Lilliepad, I really am...

Luckily, through the blessing of the "hardware failure" I don't have to see just how many days I am from that due date. Sigh.

Trying again starting in 3, 2, 1...

My Egg Retrieval is tomorrow morning - 8 AM. We have a babysitter to come stay with Jim while we sneak off and retrieve some eggs.

I've been told that the 3 day/5 day transfer question will be decided based on how many embies we have and how well they are growing. I would like very much to transfer on day 3, but I expect I'll have to leave it up to the lab.

Egg count on Thursday was 14! YAY! Now I'm just hoping for some good fertilization rates and good growth.

Why is it that I feel like I'm in a marathon? A marathon that is scary win or loose.

Birthday? Whose Birthday? Oh, you mean that BIG boy, Jim! Yeah, turned 2 today... We had a party at school for him. His coolio Momma made Elmo cupcakes and bought plates, hats, and napkins to match.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Medication Blunders and Egg Count and Sacrifice

This morning started with some big fun! We received the much-needed For those that don't use this medication, let me fill you in on the storage of this med:

"Proper storage of Ganirelix :
Store Ganirelix at 77 degrees F (25 degrees C). Brief storage at temperatures between 59 and 86 degrees F (15 and 30 degrees C) is permitted. Store away from heat, moisture, and light. Do not store in the bathroom. Keep Ganirelix out of the reach of children and away from pets."

There were no bathrooms, children, or pets in the box - so can you guess what was amiss with it? Yep, we opened the Gani.relix Rx only to find it was packed on ice.

I then called the mail order pharmacy only to be told that it was "Fine". I asked to speak to the Pharmacist, again, she said it was fine to be shipped cold. To which I replied, "The manufacturer says "brief storage below 59 degrees, and 12 hours isn't brief. Would you gamble $20,000 on the CHANCE that this drug was still good after 12 hours on ice?".

They are shipping me 2 new cartridges. Luckily I have one for tomorrow morning from the original order. Sigh.

Egg Watch 2010:

Current count Left: 6 @ 1.3 to 1.7
Current count Right: 2 @ 1.2 to 1.5

So, we might get a wee bit more than 7 after all. Maybe.

It looks like they will have me trigger on Thursday night, which puts me doing our retrieval on Jim's Birthday. Hopefully Jim is wishing for a sibling for his Birthday!

Jim's Birthday, what are the chances of that?!?!?! I'm a bit sad though - I was hoping to be able to celebrate with him at school, and to setup a party for him at home over the weekend. Now I'll most likely be in surgery while he is celebrating at school, and I'll have to figure out when to have his party at home - maybe the next weekend. I'm not sure.

Sacrifice is something I have to live with because of IF. Who knew my 2 yr old would have to sacrifice for the sake of IF too.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Small Response - Big Money

As you can see from the title, We've not been getting the good response we'd hoped for...We only have 7 follies, and we were wanting more like 20. The idea was to do one BIG round and then coast for a few frozen cycles if need be.

I'm not sure if I'll even have anything to transfer - given that 2+ years ago with 13 eggs I only had a 20% fert rate... Makes me very sad, indeed.

I'm not sure when retrieval will be - I think they are going to give me some more time to "grow", since I had several 1.1 to 1.3 size on Sunday. The best guess is trigger Wed night or Thur night. Then I'm not really sure if we'll do a 3 day or 5 day turnaround.
Cycling makes planning for work REALLY fun, huh? I can hear it now, "Hey Boss. I might need Thursday or Friday off for a full day, or maybe work from home. Then I may need all day Monday or Wednesday off, but I'm not sure! Can I get back with you when my Dr. says what the plan is?"
OH - and the "Big Money" part of the title... I just found out that our prescription coverage ran out for fertility meds! YAY!!! I have Rx coverage, but this is considered a "speciality med" so it is under a different plan wherin I've hit the max. We are going to have to pay $ 740 per vial of the Folli.stim (I need 2 additional) and a couple hundred more for the Gani.relix. Trust me when I say I came near crying when I found out.
We have poured so much money down this fertility hole this cycle. I'd feel better if we were seeing a big response, but the low #'s of follies make me feel like I'm wasting money, and LOTS of it. We spent $4000 on the IVF deposit and $2000 on meds so far, now we are adding another $2000 to the meds cost.
$8000 to make 7eggs - and one of those eggs is going to overmature, due to it's large lead on the others. So... 6 eggs for $8000. I know some of you pay more, because you have NO coverage at all, but this is a first for me. I can't imagine how people come up with the $ for full-freight, which I'm guesstimating would have cost us $15000 for the procedure and another $6000+ for meds.
Tell me truly, how do you afford $21,000 for IVF? Really? I don't think we could, so I'm interested in what you've had to do to afford it, or if you have coverage.
Love and hugs to all of you for your support... I've loved getting your comments and the direct notes. Mwah!