Reason for the Season ll

Just so I don't forget...  We told Jim all about Santa coming. We even used the "you'd better be good" line a few times... We sent him to bed with sugar plums dancing on his head.

So this morning at a respectable 9 AM my  son comes in to the room to wake me. He's all excited to go downstairs. I asked him what we were going to do downstairs, since I hadn't heard any mention of any key Christmas ingredients.

Jim looked at me ever-so-brightly and said, "We have to get god and watch a video!"

Really? Hmmm... That, my dear, what I was thinking, but OK!

Boy will Jim be surprised! I hope...

The Reason for the Season

Jim arrived at Nana's house to a room full of presents. I doubt he can remember last Christmas, so he has never seen such a thing. He asked, "Are all these presents for me?". As we tried to explain the reason for the gifts we pointed out that everyone would be getting gifts tomorrow, to which he replied delightedly, "Tomorrow is everyone's Birthday?".

I have to say, although my family is religious (and we are Christians) we are not of a faith that celebrates Christmas as a religious holiday. We celebrate it as a family holiday, and we enjoy it mightily. There are some nativity figures in some of our houses, and some of us send religious greeting cards, but primarily it is just a time for family to get together and share in good times.

Here's an odd confession for you... I was in almost in my tweens before I made a solid connection between Christmas and Jesus. I remember it, quite well actually, the very moment I made that connection. As we drove past a church that had a live nativity I saw that they had a huge Christmas tree, it was right beside the life-size nativity, THEN I saw the church sign saying "The Reason for the Season". It clicked, like I'd be hit in the head with brick thrown by baby Jesus himself. Hard to believe, I know.

When I tell you I'm a "live and let live" sort of person, you can really believe it. K?

Oh, just to balance this story evenly... Jim also didn't know what to do when he saw Santa. He kinda looked at me like, why are you setting me on this man's lap? Our grouchy Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas... and... nothing. Jim wouldn't answer him. We couldn't get him to answer. He hadn't a clue what we were talking about. I guess that explains why he didn't ask me for presents every day since September, huh?

I think I forgot to tell him that part. Ooooppps! (not that I'm displeased to miss the joy of being haggled by a 2 1/2 yr old.)

Happy Holiday that to Jim Appears to Have No Reason!! HA!

I'm a bad Mommy. I'll just turn in my Mommy card now.

However, I'll ask if I get redeemed because I let Jim open all Miss M's presents for her. Maybe?

Christmas Tree Light

We've been doing a LOT by Christmas tree light lately - I just find it so wonderfully relaxing.

This year, the lights they are a-shining, so I'm in good spirit. You see, I have these great lights for my tree - they are multi-function and do about 8 different "tricks". They blink in 8 different patterns, and I LOVE them. I've had them since 1993, and every year I wonder if this will be the year the lights don't come on. I just know it will happen one day, and Christmas will never be the same again.

When my boy Jim celebrated his 1st real Christmas last year I wasn't sure how I would handle the decorations on the tree. I didn't want to put away all of our good ornaments, but I didn't want to decorate only 1/2 the tree either. Also GASP! I wanted to let him help decorate it.

The solution? Walmart.

Walmart has very convincingly decorated unbreakable (aka plastic) ornaments - the look a wh0le lot like my normal glass ones. So, I decorated 90% of the tree (lights, garland, the higher-up ornaments) and then I let my kiddo come in and help me finish. I had pre-strung the plastic globes with thread (no hooks to mess with). I helped him with the hanging part, but he chose the locations for the ornaments.

Last year worked so well that I repeated the performance again. Kiddo seems to love that he helped decorate the tree. He even put on a few that weren't plastic this year. He comes in from school and runs to turn on the tree - we have a step-on switch, and he LOVES being able to do it himself.

Gotta love Christmas with a big-boy decorating helper. It's great to see him so proud.

I've been overzealous this Christmas in the kitchen. I've made 4 dozen snickerdoodles and 140 buckeyes (peanut butter cup-like candy).

Oh! That brings to mind a STORY!! I decided that the snickerdoodles wouldn't be good long enough for me to send them to my brother. My brother is a Fireman. So, I decided that Jim and I would take cookies over to the fire station.

I figure these guys and girls do some pretty great stuff for my family, so they could use an unexpected treat. I brought someone else's brother, father, boyfriend cookies. Maybe, just maybe, someone out there will be kind enough to bring my brother some cookies too.

Jim and I set off "Going on an adventure.**" . Just us, and Jim noted that Miss M wasn't joining us. I think he was pleased. You should have seen Jim's eyes when I told him we were going to the Fire Station. Priceless.

We walked up, I handed Jim the cookies, and he was so excited he forgot how to speak. So, I told the Fireman on duty the reason for the cookies, and his smile lit up like a Christmas tree. He grabbed my son by the hand and took him into the engine bay. Jim was treated to a trial of several different seats in each engine and a tour of both ambulances. The guy was so into it - he was explaining all about who sits where, and what their duties are, and lots about the equipment.

It felt really good to have spread some Christmas cheer. It felt really good to have someone be genuinely nice to my son. It was a nice afternoon.

So, if you find you have an extra few cookies... Think of your local FD - bring them some cheer. You just might get a quick personal tour!


**Going on an adventure - that's what we call it when we are going on a special errand, It keeps us from having to give him the detail of what we are about to do

Meds and Maternity Clothes...

If you guys know of anyone that needs one of the following, please pass them to me!!!

- Work-appropriate NICE maternity clothes in plus sizes - 1x to 2x. I'm selling mine... 25 pieces for $50.00. That's a STEAL seeing as just 2 of the shirts were that much when I bought them recently.
- Folli.stem 900 Unit cartridge - exp 02/2012
- Love.nox - 5 or 6 weeks worth leftover
- Proges.terone suppositories - about 1 month worth

Wisdom on Dressing from My Mom

I'm getting my blog inspirations from others these days, it seems...

Jen, over at Here We Go Again, was talking about being over-dressed at a recent holiday party due to her husband's attire recon fail. Made me think of a good story...

I've never really been worried about being overdressed. Really. Well, not since it happened in about 8th grade, which as you know is a hugely bad time to have any social snafu. My faux-pas wasn't so bad, but my Mom shared a cool story as a result. I'm guessing it changed a lot about my life, beacuse I listened...

Mom said that she wasn't very popular, and was pleasantly surprised when she was invited to a birthday party for one of the really popular girls in her class. She was excited about it, and asked a few people from the popular crowd what the attire was. They told her it was a coming-out party. So, my Mom would need a true formal-ish cocktail dress.

Now, my Mom lived on a farm, and her family was on the shallow end of the money pool. She didn't own any dresses that would work for the party. However, her Mom wasn't going to let her go under dressed to the event of the year. I've forgotten if they bought or made the dress, but she went in a very nice cocktail dress, and was looking very sharp indeed.

I can imagine my Mom was on cloud 9 and was strutting a bit, she was a very pretty girl even though she thinks she was too thin. :)

I'm sure you can imagine then, that she was mortified though when she arrived and found that all the other girls were dressed in "Sunday Best". They had lied to her. Those mean girls had purposefully told her to wear the wrong thing.

My Mom stayed at the party (not sure she had a choice, she was probably dropped off by her parents) and figured out a key part of life... She refused to show that she was hurt by their misdirection. She just acted like she enjoyed herself, like nothing was amiss.

You know what happened? They guys all thought she looked marvelous, and paid attention to her! She was suddenly more popular, and was getting interest she hadn't before!

Mom says that it taught her to NEVER apologize for being overdressed. An apology suggests you have something to be sorry for. Instead, just go with it, and show that you have confidence, know that you look damn good. Why should you appologize for looking Damn Good?

Mom's theory, as she taught it to me, is that everyone else is only worried about themselves and what people are thinking aobut them anyway. So, if you don't show that you are embarrassed, you will likely just make the other people more self-conscious. It is likely they won't be talking bad about you because they are preoccupied with themselves! :) Nice, huh?

So, I learned early how to enter a room with confidence. I never worry about my attire or what people are thinking about me. I KNOW they aren't thinking about me. And you know what? I've had more than one close friend comment on on this "ability" of mine. They ask me how it is that I enter a packed room with an air of "I'm here now, we can get the party started!". ;)

Gotta love Momma's advice...

Handshakes

Bea over at Infertile Fantasies sparked my interest in finally penning a blog post that's been rolling around in my head. The idea finally took shape, so here goes...

I took Miss M to do a sleep study a few weeks back - she was breathing funny. Not a ha ha kind of funny, unfortunatly.

The technician at the sleep center was extremely easy to get to know, and we shared a lot of ancedotes and personal histories over our few hours of interaction. Somewhere in the night, I'm guessing it was about 3 AM, Miss M lost patience with the test equipment, unwrapped her head, and pulled two of her leads off. It was time to feed her too, so the technician came back in to reattach it to Miss M while I soothed her with a bottle.

Since the re-attaching process takes a while, we talked a bit more about whatever. Something I said about feeding Miss M sparked a question that I thought to ask her about raising her own kids... I was confident she did, given the info she'd shared. So I asked the standard lead-in, "Do you have kids?" And you know what? I saw it... Just a millisecond of emotion crossed her face, but it told her whole story. I immediately felt horrible for asking, damn infertility... I didn't know what story would unfold, if any, but was willing to listen or not, as she chose.

The technician went on to tell me, that she'd adopted 2 wonderful children, and raised them as her own. She'd aparently adopted them after their infancy, so she'd missed out on the basic task I was performing - feeding and holding my infant. She never showed me her pain again - she didn't lament the missed infancy. She was matter-of-fact about it, bright even, and didn't share her story. The instant of pain that crossed her face will likely alway stick with me. It spoke to me, like no words could. The handshake was made, but it left me wishing I could have shared more of my journey with her and visa versa. I think it would have made for a nice evening of sharing with a sister-in-IF.

On the flip-side...

At Jim's daycare Friday, the center director was admiring Miss M, and talking openly about her thoughts on having another child. She's entering 40 this year, and would have to have a tubal reversal to try to conceive naturally. She knows how we had Jim, our nameless angel, and Miss M, so she asked what it was like for us. I was kinda surprised she asked, since another daycare mother was standing with us. I don't care about sharing, but some people are easily shocked...

Before I could answer though, the Director turned to look at Jim and said, "Jim is just so beautiful! And Miss M looks just like him!" To which I laughingly replied, "I have 3 more of him in the freezer if you want'em! Ha!". OMG! Did that just fall out of my mouth? Ha! Yep! I looked quickly at the other daycare Mom... and I saw the knowing look in her eye as she said, "I have one like ____ in the freezer myself!". Handshake offered by accident, and heartily returned.

Maybe she and I will be friends, maybe we won't, but after giving me her ART elevator-pitch she introduced herself, and her daughter. It doesn't change a thing, but it's nice to know.

Sigh... I'm thinking about whether I want to truly jump into the IF support world of Resolve or not. I think if I'd found them while I was still in the trenches I'd have been on that wagon in a heartbeat. Now, I'm not sure. I'm kinda ready to leave it behind a bit. I almost NEED to move on. There are a few friends I've made here that haven't finished their own journies yet. I'm thinking when they are done I'll be done too. I need to see it through for them, to be there to talk, share, support, and comment. Does that make sense? What do you think you'd do?

6 Wks - Wow!

My baby girl will be 6 weeks old on Friday... Wow. I can feel the time, but I'm amazed it is going by...not fast exactly, just pretty normal so far. She is still sleeping alot, but is starting to have some wakeful periods each day.

Here's the biggest wow though.... She is starting to interact with toys!!! Really. It's a bit freaky, but I'm sitting here watching it happen, so I know it is real.

One of my blogger buddies sent me a HUGE package of brightly wrapped toys (big hugs to her for being so sweet). So, when Hubby mentioned the other night that he felt sorry for Miss M because she didn't have "anything to do" I broke out this beautiful butterfly chime and attached it to her cradle. I LOVE the sound of these particular chimes...

She seemed to like the sound too, and would look at it when I would hold it and shake it. Fast forward to tonight... I placed her in a bouncy chair, put the butterfly on her tummy, and am sitting here in amazement.

I'm watching her purposfully bat at the butterfly! REALLY. She has manged to hit it so many times that she has pushed it to her feet 3 times now. She then gets frustrated because she can't reach it, and she starts fussing. No joke.

I wish I had my video camera... I'd so totally film this.

I've called my hubby over to have him verify I'm not crazy. :)

Well... shoot, that didn't work out as planned. Yeah, he validated that she's hitting it allright, but also managed to get into a fight about the cat. Fuck. Hate that... We seem to do stuff like that alot. Kinda ruins it, don't you think? Sigh.

Why is it that marriages can't be easier? He hates it when I do X, but he does Y over and over, which makes me do X. I could choose not to do X, but I'll be damned if I'm going to do nothing, and my default response is to do X.

Sigh.

Grrrrr.