Monday, March 26, 2007

Sometimes I just wish I didn't know what I know...

"Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer." — Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz)

Just call me Nearly "Cowardly Lion" Dawn!!

I've been on my TTC Vacation for almost 4 weeks now. Can you BELIEVE the time has gone that fast??

During that time I have been SURE of my future plans, very sure. I have been sure I will try again, sure I won't ever try again, sure we should adopt, sure we can only make it with IVF, and sure that IVF is not for me. AAARGH!!!!!

At least one thing really is SURE - we are supposed to be on "Vacation" from TTC, and all the while I'm thinking about what to do NEXT!

Someone please get me a pillow, I need to lie down.

It seems like my feelings about IF depend on the day of the week, or time of the month. Last month when we had our post-op appointment with the RE he gave me the following cheery statistics:

* 15% chance of a 2nd ectopic pregnancy
- True for any and all future pregnancies (natural or IUI, not with IVF)

* Originally had 30% chance of pregnancy with IUI
- Now have 15% chance (aka missing one tube)

* 20 - 25 % chance of pregnancy with IVF (but it is really expensive!)

These statistics are frightening... Unless you feel like Stephen Wright about it, wherein "42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot"

I can pay through the nose, take 53 days to complete one cycle + 10 days to get a result, and get the best odds. Or I can pay a reasonable amount, take only 11 days to complete a cycle + 14 days to get a result, and possibly get another trip to the hospital! Woo Hoo!!!

Oh, and you know what my google-eyed self found out about IVF?? Per the Ectopic Awareness Association in England, there are actually a high # of ectopic pregnancies from IVF - because the REs sometimes accidentally push the eggs right up into the tube!!! YIKES!!! Oh, Oh, oh, and guess what else I learned?? I can actually have one of the little embies attach to the STUMP from my fallopian tube, and it will operate like an ectopic (not enough blood supply to sustain life). OMG!!!!!

Sometimes I just wish I didn't know what I know....

Weren't you going to get me a pillow? I need to lie down.


Knock Me Up said...

After reading your last paragraph I think I need a pillow too. Boy, I didn't even think about ectopic with IVF. My dr. told me where he placed the embies, which was, apx. one inch from the top of my uterus on the back wall. I hope that is the right spot. If you decide to go with IVF, make sure your doc tells you where he/she will put the embies and what their experience is with ectopic IVF. I will be asking my doc now.

I hope whatever plan you finally decide upon you are okay. I have been thinking about you a lot since your loss and hoping you've been able to use your "vacation" to good use.

Take care.

RTTguapa said...

ok, lie down and stay far, far away from dr. google. yes, knowledge is power BUT it's not a great idea to worry about something that may or may not happen.

i say, freak out when it's already there, not when it's an x% chance of happening. am i helping? haha

if not, here's your pillow. chillax...

Mands said...

I agree, too much information is not always a good thing. It's like reading the side effects of the injections you'll be taking: not advisable.
I am at the IVF crossroads myself, and it is a hard decision. Take your time and do what you feel best.

Gil said...

As per Mel's comment week:
*hands you a pillow* Those odds are tough, no doubt about it. Sometimes it's nice to NOT know about things isn't it? Ignorance is bliss in a kinda sorta pre-infertility world? Oh I wish. One day at a time. And whatever you decide on, enjoy your personal time for now and make a plan when you are ready to move forward. Until then, distraction is good. *hugs*

Baby Blues said...

During this 2ww, I'm already planning what we'll be doing next! Worrying helps us prepare for the worst. But just keep it in moderation.

Here, let's share a pillow.