Friday, October 23, 2009

Closure....

Thank you to everyone who has come by to offer condolences. It has been helpful to have our little one's existence acknowledged. The support and shared grief has been good for me, as I don't feel so alone, as I have in previous (early, before anyone knew) miscarriages.

I am at home recovering from a D&C that I had at 6:30 AM this morning. I'm still a bit knocked out from the sedation and meds, but that is to be expected, I guess. So far it hasn't been too bad as far as recoveries go.

The hardest part of the whole D&C process was the paperwork. I was required to fill out a Death Certificate. It was the hardest thing I've had to do yet. I cried the whole way through it. It did feel like closure, but I wasn't sure I was ready for that just yet, as it felt kinda forced. It made it all feel very final though, like I was publicly and formally acknowledging officially that my baby had died. In a way, it made me feel better that there was a real and tangible record of her on this earth, even though it didn't ask for a name or sex of the baby - it was enough.

It will probably be a little while, but I will eventually try to explain what the findings from our test results were. Also, I'll tell you guys what happened at the hospital the night we found out, but I'm not ready for all that just yet,

Thanks again for all your love and support.

-- Protect the time and space to carry out your dreams -----

10 comments:

ME Gregory said...

What a day you've had - I'm sure it was a lot to go through. I've been thinking of you throughout the day and hoping you were getting through. Thanks in all you are going through to keep us posted. Hopefully you can rest this weekend as you absorb all that has happened to you and your family.

Heather said...

I've been sitting here trying to think of just the right thing to say. So you know how much I care. That I'm thinking of you. But I'm afraid I'll say something to put my foot in my mouth. I'm so sorry.

Stacie said...

Love, strength, and hugs all coming your way. Now and always.

Gil said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about this. My sincere condolences to you and your family on the loss of your little one. I am heartbroken for you. I pray that you find peace and that you are able to move forward with lots of love and hope for the future in your heart.

m said...

hugging you. keeping you in my mind today. I'm just so sorry.

MrsSpock said...

I'm so sad for you all. *Hugs*

Katie said...

Sending lots of hugs your way.

Ann said...

I recently lost my twins at 14 weeks. My heart aches for you...I am sending you peace.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Sending good thoughts for the body healing quickly, but even more so, good thoughts for your heart, sweetie.

Jenny said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I'd hug you but you're far away.